And here it is – the most embarrassing thing I have ever posted online. Out of all the journal comics I’ve done - depression, isolation, inadequacy, bad jokes – this is the one I’m almost too ashamed to put out there. It’s something I very rarely talk about to people close to me, because it’s something I’m extremely embarrassed about. For a long time I just wanted to pretend that I had no interest in romance at all because it was better than admitting that I couldn’t get a date to save my life.
In fact, I’m a huge sap. I love romance and I love the thought of sharing my life with someone who just gets me. I get weak in the knees at every cute boy I see. I love all that hand-holdy, nose-rubby, cuddle-bunny crap. But it’s easier to say “I don’t care if I find someone” than to say “I desperately want to be loved and I’m afraid I’ll go my entire life without experiencing it because no one I like is interested in me.”
I’ve gone 24 years without a partner on Valentine’s Day, but I actually love this stupid holiday. It represents something I believe in very strongly – love. And I feel love all around me. From friends, family, and especially from myself. And feeling that love gives me hope that maybe someday I’ll be able to spend Valentine’s Day with someone really special to me.